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  • Writer's pictureJabe Stafford

Writer - Butt In Chair Time = Slackass


Reach behind you and grab both ass cheeks right now.

If you had to get out of your desk chair to do that, good. You’re probably writing.

If you did that at the coffee shop, even better. You’re probably making people laugh AND writing at the same time.

For those currently writing, continue to do so.

For those who’ve spent too long away from their characters, wash your friggin’ hands and get back to writing!

It’s not B.S. when they say, “Treat writing like a job.” Whether it pays the bills at the moment or not, treating writing like a job is REALLY intended to make abso-frickin-lutely sure you spend time with your rump in the chair writing. With jobs, you show up on time or you get yelled at/written up/fired/labelled a slacker.

With writing, you show up on time or the book ain’t gettin’ written.

The pain/anxiety of not showing up to work is immediate. Some jackhole in a suit jacket jacks up your blood pressure the moment your slacker ass walks in.

The pain/anxiety of not showing up to writing is much worse. You don’t feel your characters stagnating. You don’t see any responses from agents you queried. You never fear leaving the writing until tomorrow because your flaming-chainsaw-wielding villain isn’t there to jack up your blood pressure the moment your slacker ass flips open the laptop.

That means you’re responsible for your own butt-in-chair time. If that means being a jackhole to yourself and sacrificing the movie marathon or the night out in order to get it, then sacrifice it. Terrible cinema and chicken wings will always be there. Your book won’t.

Yeah. Of course. Self-care is hugely important these days. It sucks dragon dong that so many people have so much stress in life. Down time and fun matter.

Think about what you do during your down time. Do you binge TV? What about reading books? Someday soon, that’s gonna be YOUR book on shelves both physical and digital. That means people out there will be enjoying your stories during their downtime. Your butt-in-chair time will help someone get more out of their downtime just like how your favorite author’s butt-in-chair time helped you when you read their book.

That’s how the cycle repeats itself.

Ya can’t help others the way you dreamed of helping if you don’t plug in the butt-in-chair time.

So plug that shit in and write. (No, that didn’t come out wrong, you nastyhead.)

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